A little bit of pageant love

"I would never let my daughter do a pageant."

... was the quote that inspired this blog post. I have heard people say those words more than once, but when I ask why, their opinions come from shows like Toddlers in Tiaras, YouTube videos of poorly answered interview questions, or else Miss Congeniality, which are entertaining, but not the most reliable sources for information. If you have ever actually been to a pageant, you will have a better idea of what they really are, but I think the only way to really understand is to participate as a contestant, a committee member, or a parent. Most of the pageants I participated in required workshops, service opportunities, and hours spent trying to make myself a better person.

 The sad thing is that most people don't get to see pageants from that perspective. They only see the sparkles, high heels, and stage make-up.

Pageants have been a big part of my life since I was seventeen. I participated in a few, and ever since, I have joined committees so that I could continue to participate in that world and help other girls have the opportunities that I did.

Why would I do that?

Because they changed my life and they are awesome. (Cheesy? Maybe. But true.)

So, here I am defending pageants, because I think they are a wonderful opportunity for young women.

Pageants aren't about a girl in a pretty dress walking around on a big stage under bright lights.

Pageants at their best are about high caliber young women who have worked hard to develop important skills; ladies who are competing and presenting the beautiful women they have become.

For clarification:  There are multiple lines of pageants, but there are only two that I really know anything about and these are the ones that I am talking about. The first is the Miss America Organization and the second is the Distinguished Young Women program. DISCLAIMER: The DYW program is not a pageant; it is a scholarship program, but, for the purposes of this post, I am going to treat it as a pageant because my experiences with them have been very similar.

The Miss America pageants have five portions:

Interview
On-stage Question
Fitness
Talent
Evening Wear

 One of my favorite parts about this organization is their focus on service. MAO has a national platform which helps to support the Children's Miracle Network. In order to participate, contestants must raise money to help that organization, which I loved since I knew that would benefit the Primary Children's Hospital, which is close to where I live. On top of supporting CMN, contestants must choose their own service platform and work on it both as a contestant and as a title-holder.

The DYW Program has similar portions:

Interview
Fitness
Talent
Evening Wear/ On-stage Question
Academic

While most pageants host a swim wear competition for fitness, DYW actually has the girls do a fitness routine on stage that last about 8 minutes and includes push-ups, sit-ups, boxing, dancing, and lots of cardio. One of the most distinguishing features about DYW is the academic portion. It is the only pageant I know of that rates girls on their grades and test scores, which is kind of cool. Beautiful women can be smart too! They focus on the Be Your Best Self program, which has five areas: be healthy, be responsible, be involved, be studious, and be ambitious. Only high school seniors are eligible to participate in this program.

I LOVE these pageant lines. Their focus on service, talent, and, in DYW's case, fitness, puts them a step apart from other organizations and earns them the right to pull away from the "beauty pageant" stereotype.

 These pageants are scholarship pageants. I don't think I would ever do a pageant if they didn't either give out scholarship money or provide service opportunities.  They provide opportunities for women to gain an education and to become better, and they focus on the quality of the person, their dedication to making a difference in the world, more than if they have a pretty face or a hot body.

Before I start talking about all the reasons that I think pageants are the greatest things ever (You probably thought I had already started, huh?), I will admit that there ARE downsides to pageants. However, most of them are things that I would call "personal problems" and are not the organization's fault. Because of people's perceptions of pageants, I think that every once in a while it can be hard to remember that they are not "beauty pageants." There was a point when I was doing them when I realized that I was focusing on all the wrong things. I spent so much time reading articles about make up, hair, and style. I took forever getting ready and my focus was overwhelmingly on what I looked like. Luckily that period didn't last very long and I realized that my priorities were screwed up. I remembered why I was doing pageants: to make myself better. This is why I say that it is more of a personal thing. Nothing about the organization emphasized beauty above all else, I just got caught in a trap of comparing myself to others and had to re-prioritize.

Here are the reasons that I would NEVER steal the opportunity from my daughters:

Participating in pageants really helped me to develop my sense of self. It wasn't easy for me as an eighteen year old girl to go on stage and give my honest opinion about controversial topics. I knew that at least one of the judges would probably have a different opinion than me, and no matter how impartial the judges tried to be, it was possible that I would offend one of them. I had to discover what my real opinions were about things, and learn to say them in polite, but straightforward ways.  I think that that made me a better citizen because I know more about politics and issues than I would have otherwise. Because I really searched to decide what I thought was right about certain issues, I feel more confident when I am looking at politicians and deciding who to vote for. I also had to spend a lot of time at city council meeting and city events and I gained a true appreciation for the fulfillment that comes from being involved in a community.

Helping at a city Easter egg hunt!

Because I was trying to present my best self, I had to figure out who my best self was. What kind of person I was. What I wanted in life. I thought about the way I wanted the judges to see me and why I should even be the one they picked. Why would I do a good job in this position? I learned so many things about myself, because I knew that I wouldn't be able to show people the "real me" otherwise.

This guy is one of the other things in my life that made me who I am today. 

Teenage and young adult years are such an important time in life. There is so much pressure to figure out the things that you want to do with your life. You start forming the patterns and habits that will drive the rest of your life. Pageants provided a platform for me to focus on the kind of person that I wanted to be, my career goals, and educational goals. I had a lot of opportunities to perform and develop my talents that I wouldn't have had otherwise.

Best friends.

I made some of the best friends EVER. When I realized that I would be competing with one of my best friends, I was initially nervous that it would hurt our friendship. That one, or both, of us would become too competitive and it would tear us apart. But it didn't. Chloe and I are still best friends, and now when I volunteer to help at pageants, she is usually there too. Instead of tearing us apart it made us closer because we worked on becoming better and learning together. Movies like to portray pageants as cat-fights with girls who hate each other and sabotage each other to win. I have never seen anything further from the truth; I still have some wonderful friends that I never would have met if I hadn't worked towards a common goal with them.

On top of learning about who I was and becoming my personal best, pageants taught me some great life skills. I have no fear going into interviews because I have spent HOURS practicing how to interview. I video-taped myself and realized that I talked with my hands WAY too much. I had mock interviews where fake interviewers told me my strengths and my weaknesses and how I could make a better more memorable impression. I don't think I would have had those opportunities otherwise. It is also easier interviewing with one or two people after you have practiced many, many times with five or six.

Some people, or most people, may disagree, but walking in heels is totally an important skill. There are some times when you just need to run, and you just might be wearing heels during some of them! Lets get real, if you can pivot in heels, you can do just about anything. Next time there is an emergency and I am in heels (or I am at my sister-in-law's wedding which has a gravel walkway) I will be glad that I can sprint, balance, or do whatever else, while still rocking those babies.

Dancing is my favorite. I would do pageants until I died just for the dance opportunities.

On top of all of that, I had so many opportunities to speak in public, and my favorite part was that I was able to perform ballet routines so often!

Pageants helped me to become a better citizen, community member, friend, speaker, dancer, interviewer, job candidate, and many other things. The most important thing was that they helped me become a more confident and a better person. In the words of a great song, "I know who I am, I know where I stand," and pageants were a huge part of helping me get to that place.

I know this was long, but what I was really trying to say is: everyone should join their local program!

Check them out!

www.ajm.org

www.missamerica.org