I love my students to death, I learn so much for them and there is something that is seriously satisfying (alliteration much?) about seeing people learn and progress because of what you have taught them. I wrote a list version of some of the more whimsical things that I have learned from my teaching experience:
- Coordination doesn't (usually) come naturally.
Have you ever seen a four year old try
to jump on one foot? Or even two? Yup. It is something that is
learned the hard way, complete with falls, bruises, and the
occasional tear. Because of this I am very grateful for whatever
experiences allowed me to grow into a fully grown, well- coordinated
body.
- Being aware of your audience is always important.
One day one of my Four-Year Old's came
up to me (And her mother was within earshot mind you) and said
“Teacher, guess what? I have a fat momma.”
- If you aren't sure of the reason for something, jump to the most obvious conclusion.
Upon hearing that I was getting married
soon I had the following conversation with a student named Emily.
“Why are you getting married?”
“Because I love him!”
“Oh...okay”
Then five minutes later, after looking
quite thoughtful, the second question exploded out.
“Are you getting married because you
are having a baby?”
“No, I am not having a baby, I just
really like him!”
“So you are NEVER having kids?”
- There is a fine line between a fact and an insult.
Although this correlates with number 2
I feel that another instance demonstrates it better. “Maddy just
said that my hair makes me look like a grandma!” Exploded Kylie
who has naturally white blonde hair. Maddy insisted she didn't mean
to be rude; and I made sure that Kylie knew that a lot of people pay
a lot of money to get those platinum blonde locks.
- When in doubt of what to say, always go for shock value.
I ask all of my students where their
butterfly is flying to when we do the butterfly stretch. (That
awkward stretch, that isn't really a stretch where you “flap”
your knees like a crazy person). Every day Allie responds with the same
answer: “In…. my boogers….” She whispers, and then everyone
else giggles like she just said something very funny, but very
naughty.
- If you can't think of anything with shock value, just go for something impossible
“My butterfly is going to all of the
planets in the whole world.” or “My butterfly is going...
nowhere!”
- Hard work and practice isn't always the key to success
“Teacher, do you know how I learn to
be more flexible?”
“No I don't! How do you do
it?”
“I just watch flexible people!”
- Washing you hands is important to protect yourself from germs. Even if they are your own.
Allie, the same girl who wants her
butterfly up her nose every week, came up to me and asked if she
could have some hand sanitizer. She then felt the need to explain how
her hands had gotten dirty: “I sucked my thumb.”, she said, and
then walked off to join her amigos.
- Hamstrung is a medical term for when your hamstring hurts.
- If you find out you get a prize when it is your birthday, you should definitely pretend that it is your birthday, even if you don't know what day your birthday actually is to tell your teacher.
