A little bit of pageant love

"I would never let my daughter do a pageant."

... was the quote that inspired this blog post. I have heard people say those words more than once, but when I ask why, their opinions come from shows like Toddlers in Tiaras, YouTube videos of poorly answered interview questions, or else Miss Congeniality, which are entertaining, but not the most reliable sources for information. If you have ever actually been to a pageant, you will have a better idea of what they really are, but I think the only way to really understand is to participate as a contestant, a committee member, or a parent. Most of the pageants I participated in required workshops, service opportunities, and hours spent trying to make myself a better person.

 The sad thing is that most people don't get to see pageants from that perspective. They only see the sparkles, high heels, and stage make-up.

Pageants have been a big part of my life since I was seventeen. I participated in a few, and ever since, I have joined committees so that I could continue to participate in that world and help other girls have the opportunities that I did.

Why would I do that?

Because they changed my life and they are awesome. (Cheesy? Maybe. But true.)

So, here I am defending pageants, because I think they are a wonderful opportunity for young women.

Pageants aren't about a girl in a pretty dress walking around on a big stage under bright lights.

Pageants at their best are about high caliber young women who have worked hard to develop important skills; ladies who are competing and presenting the beautiful women they have become.

For clarification:  There are multiple lines of pageants, but there are only two that I really know anything about and these are the ones that I am talking about. The first is the Miss America Organization and the second is the Distinguished Young Women program. DISCLAIMER: The DYW program is not a pageant; it is a scholarship program, but, for the purposes of this post, I am going to treat it as a pageant because my experiences with them have been very similar.

The Miss America pageants have five portions:

Interview
On-stage Question
Fitness
Talent
Evening Wear

 One of my favorite parts about this organization is their focus on service. MAO has a national platform which helps to support the Children's Miracle Network. In order to participate, contestants must raise money to help that organization, which I loved since I knew that would benefit the Primary Children's Hospital, which is close to where I live. On top of supporting CMN, contestants must choose their own service platform and work on it both as a contestant and as a title-holder.

The DYW Program has similar portions:

Interview
Fitness
Talent
Evening Wear/ On-stage Question
Academic

While most pageants host a swim wear competition for fitness, DYW actually has the girls do a fitness routine on stage that last about 8 minutes and includes push-ups, sit-ups, boxing, dancing, and lots of cardio. One of the most distinguishing features about DYW is the academic portion. It is the only pageant I know of that rates girls on their grades and test scores, which is kind of cool. Beautiful women can be smart too! They focus on the Be Your Best Self program, which has five areas: be healthy, be responsible, be involved, be studious, and be ambitious. Only high school seniors are eligible to participate in this program.

I LOVE these pageant lines. Their focus on service, talent, and, in DYW's case, fitness, puts them a step apart from other organizations and earns them the right to pull away from the "beauty pageant" stereotype.

 These pageants are scholarship pageants. I don't think I would ever do a pageant if they didn't either give out scholarship money or provide service opportunities.  They provide opportunities for women to gain an education and to become better, and they focus on the quality of the person, their dedication to making a difference in the world, more than if they have a pretty face or a hot body.

Before I start talking about all the reasons that I think pageants are the greatest things ever (You probably thought I had already started, huh?), I will admit that there ARE downsides to pageants. However, most of them are things that I would call "personal problems" and are not the organization's fault. Because of people's perceptions of pageants, I think that every once in a while it can be hard to remember that they are not "beauty pageants." There was a point when I was doing them when I realized that I was focusing on all the wrong things. I spent so much time reading articles about make up, hair, and style. I took forever getting ready and my focus was overwhelmingly on what I looked like. Luckily that period didn't last very long and I realized that my priorities were screwed up. I remembered why I was doing pageants: to make myself better. This is why I say that it is more of a personal thing. Nothing about the organization emphasized beauty above all else, I just got caught in a trap of comparing myself to others and had to re-prioritize.

Here are the reasons that I would NEVER steal the opportunity from my daughters:

Participating in pageants really helped me to develop my sense of self. It wasn't easy for me as an eighteen year old girl to go on stage and give my honest opinion about controversial topics. I knew that at least one of the judges would probably have a different opinion than me, and no matter how impartial the judges tried to be, it was possible that I would offend one of them. I had to discover what my real opinions were about things, and learn to say them in polite, but straightforward ways.  I think that that made me a better citizen because I know more about politics and issues than I would have otherwise. Because I really searched to decide what I thought was right about certain issues, I feel more confident when I am looking at politicians and deciding who to vote for. I also had to spend a lot of time at city council meeting and city events and I gained a true appreciation for the fulfillment that comes from being involved in a community.

Helping at a city Easter egg hunt!

Because I was trying to present my best self, I had to figure out who my best self was. What kind of person I was. What I wanted in life. I thought about the way I wanted the judges to see me and why I should even be the one they picked. Why would I do a good job in this position? I learned so many things about myself, because I knew that I wouldn't be able to show people the "real me" otherwise.

This guy is one of the other things in my life that made me who I am today. 

Teenage and young adult years are such an important time in life. There is so much pressure to figure out the things that you want to do with your life. You start forming the patterns and habits that will drive the rest of your life. Pageants provided a platform for me to focus on the kind of person that I wanted to be, my career goals, and educational goals. I had a lot of opportunities to perform and develop my talents that I wouldn't have had otherwise.

Best friends.

I made some of the best friends EVER. When I realized that I would be competing with one of my best friends, I was initially nervous that it would hurt our friendship. That one, or both, of us would become too competitive and it would tear us apart. But it didn't. Chloe and I are still best friends, and now when I volunteer to help at pageants, she is usually there too. Instead of tearing us apart it made us closer because we worked on becoming better and learning together. Movies like to portray pageants as cat-fights with girls who hate each other and sabotage each other to win. I have never seen anything further from the truth; I still have some wonderful friends that I never would have met if I hadn't worked towards a common goal with them.

On top of learning about who I was and becoming my personal best, pageants taught me some great life skills. I have no fear going into interviews because I have spent HOURS practicing how to interview. I video-taped myself and realized that I talked with my hands WAY too much. I had mock interviews where fake interviewers told me my strengths and my weaknesses and how I could make a better more memorable impression. I don't think I would have had those opportunities otherwise. It is also easier interviewing with one or two people after you have practiced many, many times with five or six.

Some people, or most people, may disagree, but walking in heels is totally an important skill. There are some times when you just need to run, and you just might be wearing heels during some of them! Lets get real, if you can pivot in heels, you can do just about anything. Next time there is an emergency and I am in heels (or I am at my sister-in-law's wedding which has a gravel walkway) I will be glad that I can sprint, balance, or do whatever else, while still rocking those babies.

Dancing is my favorite. I would do pageants until I died just for the dance opportunities.

On top of all of that, I had so many opportunities to speak in public, and my favorite part was that I was able to perform ballet routines so often!

Pageants helped me to become a better citizen, community member, friend, speaker, dancer, interviewer, job candidate, and many other things. The most important thing was that they helped me become a more confident and a better person. In the words of a great song, "I know who I am, I know where I stand," and pageants were a huge part of helping me get to that place.

I know this was long, but what I was really trying to say is: everyone should join their local program!

Check them out!

www.ajm.org

www.missamerica.org

10 things I learned teaching ballet

So.... drum roll please... for the first time in my life today someone called me mom. It was weird. But also cute. A little girl in my dance class looked at me and said, "She is touching my foot, mom!" I just let it slide and told them to keep their seven hundred and eighty two limbs to themselves, but it was cute and I marked it down on my list of firsts.

I love my students to death, I learn so much for them and there is something that is seriously satisfying (alliteration much?) about seeing people learn and progress because of what you have taught them. I wrote a list version of some of the more whimsical things that I have learned from my teaching experience:

1. Coordination doesn't (usually) come naturally.

Have you ever seen a four year old try to jump on one foot? Or even two? Yup. It is something that is learned the hard way, complete with falls, bruises, and the occasional tear. Because of this I am very grateful for whatever experiences allowed me to grow into a fully grown, well- coordinated body.

2. Being aware of your audience is always important.

One day one of my Four-Year Old's came up to me (And her mother was within earshot mind you) and said “Teacher, guess what? I have a fat momma.”

3. If you aren't sure of the reason for something, jump to the most obvious conclusion.

Upon hearing that I was getting married soon I had the following conversation with a student named Emily.

“Why are you getting married?”

“Because I love him!”

“Oh...okay”

Then five minutes later, after looking quite thoughtful, the second question exploded out.

“Are you getting married because you are having a baby?”

“No, I am not having a baby, I just really like him!”

“So you are NEVER having kids?”

4. There is a fine line between a fact and an insult.

Although this correlates with number 2 I feel that another instance demonstrates it better. “Maddy just said that my hair makes me look like a grandma!” Exploded Kylie who has naturally white blonde hair. Maddy insisted she didn't mean to be rude; and I made sure that Kylie knew that a lot of people pay a lot of money to get those platinum blonde locks.

5. When in doubt of what to say, always go for shock value.

I ask all of my students where their butterfly is flying to when we do the butterfly stretch. (That awkward stretch, that isn't really a stretch where you “flap” your knees like a crazy person). Every day Allie responds with the same answer: “In…. my boogers….” She whispers, and then everyone else giggles like she just said something very funny, but very naughty.

6. If you can't think of anything with shock value, just go for something impossible

“My butterfly is going to all of the planets in the whole world.” or “My butterfly is going... nowhere!”

7. Hard work and practice isn't always the key to success

“Teacher, do you know how I learn to be more flexible?”

“No I don't! How do you do it?”

“I just watch flexible people!”

8. Washing you hands is important to protect yourself from germs. Even if they are your own.

Allie, the same girl who wants her butterfly up her nose every week, came up to me and asked if she could have some hand sanitizer. She then felt the need to explain how her hands had gotten dirty: “I sucked my thumb.”, she said, and then walked off to join her amigos.

9. Hamstrung is a medical term for when your hamstring hurts.
   
   
10. If you find out you get a prize when it is your birthday, you should definitely pretend that it is your birthday, even if you don't know what day your birthday actually  is to tell your teacher. 
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    

Iridescence?

Whelp. I finally decided to start a blog.

And now anyone reading this is thinking "Obviously, I am reading it right now."

Oh well.

I feel like I am obligated to explain why I suddenly had the desire to create a blog (Which doesn't make any sense. It isn't like someone is going to force an explanation out of me), but truthfully I don't really know.  Maybe it was partially because my new Creative Writing class has made me want to express myself more. Maybe it is because I suck at writing in my journal and can use this as a sort of substitute.... BUT it is probably mostly just because it sounded like fun.

So here I am!

Iridescence. I really, really, really like that word. It means luminosity. Or anything of iridescent quality; a play of lustrous, changing colors. Iridescent is what I want my life to be: full of light and color.

It makes me think of warm sunny days, when the sun is playing on my face. It makes me think of the beautiful light that comes through a prism. The way the sun shines through the trees. It makes me think of playing on the salt flats with Josh. Iridescence. Anything that is warm and light inside of me, all of the good feelings I can think of, seem to connect with this word. 

So I picked it.